Let Go of Expectations

Ahhh, letting go of expectations. By letting go of expectations, we give ourselves permission to accept reality. I’ve really had to work on this over the years and continue to do so. When I feel myself wanting to set an expectation, I ackowledge it, and then shift my mindset from expectation to intention. By shifting my perspective, I allow myself to handle reality with grace. When we shift towards setting intentions instead of meeting expectations we release ourselves from attachments to a fixed outcome. We replace feeling entitled with feeling gratitude. By releasing expectations we can then surrender ourselves over to each moment as it is unfolding. I had an AH HA moment when I realized my expectations looked a lot like judgments I was casting on myself and others. Expectations feed disappointment and unhealthy attachments to things, people, and outcomes we want to control but can’t. By freeing ourselves from expectations, we can enjoy people and things for what they are, not what we think they should be.

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than how you think it should be.” Wayne Dyer

Expectations can fall into many areas of our life, and I’ve found they can usually fit into these 3 categories; 1) expectations we have for ourselves 2) expectations we have for others 3) expectations others have for us. Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate, because we often take on others expectations of us on as our own and vice versa. We need to let go of them all. You’re probably asking yourself, Carissa that sounds good, but how exactly do I do that? Let’s first look at the definitions of expectation and intention. An expectation is defined as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case, or belief that someone will or should achieve something. An intention is something we want or plan to do.

Specifically, expectation refers to expectation of results, of outcome. When we set an intention to a goal, aim or purpose while being detached from the outcome, it allows us to be in the moment paying attention to our efforts which can lead to an outcome. Instead of expecting an outcome, we can meet an intention with action steps to help manifest what we want. And regardless of the outcome, we can then find the lesson because we took the pressure off and attachments to the outcome or results.

I’ll use myself as an example. Throughout my journey with autoimmunity I’ve tried many diets, lifestyle changes, Dr.’s advice and more. I had tried it all. For many years, each time I would try something new, I had an expectation that my quality of life would improve. That was a very tall order with high expectations. What I realized and now know is that I was setting myself up to fail. Because no matter what the outcome was, it was never going to meet the high expectations I had set. It left me feeling anxious, defeated, depressed, and I hate to admit this, but like a victim. I thought no matter what I try, it won’t work and would ask God, “Why do I have to live with so much pain? Is this how I will have to live my whole life?” I was being unrealistic and was attached to my expectation of my results.

When I changed my mindset from expectation to intention, my anxiety lessened, and I was able to see the bigger picture. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, and started empowering myself. I no longer see a setback as losing or failing. I see it as an opportunity to grow, reflect, and I feel a sense of gratitude for the lessons, even if some of the lessons are painfully hard. Changing my mindset towards intention and manifesting the life I want has made a difference in all areas of my life. When my Functional Diagnostic Nutritionist found me, it was if the universe delivered her to me because I was ready no matter what the outcome. I took the pressure off myself which has allowed me to actually enjoy healing and the journey.

Is there an area in your life where you’re hard on yourself because of a high expectation? Try shifting your mindset towards intention and write me a note to let me know how that feels for you and if you notice a positive shift.

Sending love and healing,

Carissa